Guest blog by Katie Jay, MSW; Certified Life & Wellness Coach Every January, the pressure returns. You step on the scale, regretting it instantly, and remind yourself that you decided to let yourself enjoy traditional holiday fare. You shake your head and think, “I’m paying for it now.” As old fears resurface, you feel the urge to buckle down and start a new diet. You want to put yourself under tighter control. For people who have lived through weight loss surgery and all the hope, effort, and complexity that comes with it, this pressure can feel especially heavy. But success after bariatric surgery does not come from trying harder, setting stricter rules, or aiming for perfection. It comes from learning how to find your balance when you are wobbling. Learning Balance After Bariatric Surgery As a kid, I took ice skating lessons and had to hold the rail to keep from falling. After my bariatric surgery, I held on just as tightly to the structure my bariatric program provided. During one of my first skating lessons, before my instructor joined me on the ice, I got overconfident and let go of the rail. I lost my balance and fell immediately. What helped me develop better balance was skating with someone who knew what they were doing and could hold my hand or help me get back up when I lost my footing. Over time, I found my balance not by forcing myself, but by tuning into my body, making small adjustments, and practicing often. I improved gradually. In my bariatric life, I learned to find balance not through rigid resolutions, but through practice, support, time, and patience. Finding Balance Instead of Starting Over After the Holidays If you are worried about holiday wobbles, instead of jumping into new diets or resolutions, permit yourself to let go of what is no longer steadying you. Focus on what helps you stay upright. Most importantly, get up every time you fall. If you want to improve your balance, choose one simple bariatric well-being practice, such as walking, tracking what you eat, noticing your emotional state before eating, or getting enough sleep. Instead of treating your well-being practice like a rule you can break, try thinking of it as part of who you are. Practice saying to yourself, “This is something I always do.” Building Identity-Based Habits After Bariatric Surgery For example, you might decide you are someone who eats regular meals. Most days, that happens without much thought. On the days it does not, when schedules run long, or everything feels off, you do not make it mean anything about you. You simply eat when it is time again and return to what you usually do. Maybe you are someone who pauses and checks in with yourself before eating. Sometimes you remember to do it, sometimes you do not. If you catch yourself eating on autopilot, try not to scold yourself. Instead, acknowledge what happened without judgment and trust that you will check in next time. When falls happen, and they will, remind yourself that they do not erase who you are. You do not have to start over because you are the kind of person who always gets back up. Managing Fear of Going off Track After Bariatric Surgery This year, instead of asking yourself what you should fix, try asking a gentler question. What helps me stay steady? After bariatric surgery, many people live with a fear of going off track. A missed walk, a stressful week, or an unplanned eating moment can quickly lead to self-criticism or overcorrection. When you find yourself searching for diets or trying to force behavior, consider trying something else: Self-awareness and compassion instead of pressure Experiments instead of resolutions Listening to yourself instead of criticizing yourself Identity-level anchors instead of rigid rules What Are Identity-Level Anchors? Identity-level anchors work differently from rules. An identity-level anchor is something you always do, not perfectly, and not without exceptions, but consistently enough that it becomes part of who you are. When you think, “I am someone who always walks,” missing a day does not threaten your balance. There is no need to beat yourself up or start over. You simply keep going the next day. These anchors steady you because they are measured over time, not by daily performance. Consistency with kindness is far more sustainable than control. Redefining Balance on the Bariatric Journey Balance does not mean never wobbling. It means knowing how to recover. After bariatric surgery, there will be slips, stalls, regain, emotional eating, and discouraging seasons. None of these mean you are failing. They mean you are living life. You were not meant to skate perfectly or alone. Sometimes you will need to stay close to the rail. Sometimes you will need someone beside you to help steady you. And sometimes you will fall and learn that getting back up is part of the process. Letting go of resolutions does not mean letting go of care. It means choosing steadier support, identity-level anchors, and a longer view of balance. This year, instead of shaming yourself or promising you will never fall again, consider a different commitment. Get up every time you do.