By Katie Jay, MSW; Certified Life & Wellness Coach As the air cools and the leaves begin to fall, nature quietly reminds us of something profound: Letting go is not an ending but a beginning. When a tree sheds its leaves, it isn’t giving up—it’s preparing. By releasing what it no longer needs, the tree conserves energy and makes space for the growth that will come in spring. For those of us on the bariatric journey, the same truth applies. There comes a time when holding on—whether to old eating habits, outdated beliefs, unsupportive relationships, or impossible standards—keeps us stuck. Letting go is necessary for lasting transformation. It’s not always easy, but it is always freeing. This fall, as you watch the leaves drift to the ground, take the opportunity to release something you’ve been holding on to that no longer serves you—and move closer to the bariatric life you’re longing for. What Letting Go Really Means After Bariatric Surgery Letting go is not about failure, defeat, or giving up—it’s about making space. When we cling to outdated habits and identities, we use up energy that could instead fuel our growth. For people who’ve had bariatric surgery, letting go often means releasing beliefs and behaviors that sabotage progress. That might look like: Loosening your grip on the diet mentality that says your worth is tied to a number on the scale Letting go of emotional eating as your only source of comfort Releasing the belief that you must take care of everyone else before taking care of yourself These patterns may once have served a purpose. Food may have been comfort in hard times. Perfectionism may have felt like protection from criticism. But after surgery, those old ways can weigh you down just as heavily as the pounds you’ve shed. Letting go means noticing what no longer supports your health or peace of mind, loosening your grip, and trusting that you’ll be okay without it. And more than okay—you’ll be free to shape a bariatric life that meets your needs and supports your goals. Why Letting Go Is a Process—Not a One-Time Choice Letting go isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a daily practice that evolves over time. Awareness comes first. You can’t release what you haven’t named. Ask yourself: What habits or beliefs keep pulling me back into old patterns? What am I resisting? Journaling, along with the right kind of support, can help you gain clarity. Then comes courage—with self-compassion. Fear is part of the journey: fear of regain, fear of failure, fear of change. Instead of judging yourself for being afraid, meet that fear with kindness. Fear isn’t a stop sign; it’s a signal to prepare. When you notice it, remind yourself that fear means you’re on the edge of growth—and you deserve encouragement and forgiveness as you take the next step. Next, take small risks. Letting go requires stepping outside your comfort zone. Maybe that means reaching for connection instead of food. Maybe it means saying no when you’d normally overextend yourself. Like the tree trusting spring will come again, you can trust that new habits will grow to replace the old ones. Common Fears About Letting Go on the Bariatric Journey With a history of struggle, you may not trust that letting go will work. You may wonder if you can tolerate the discomfort of change. Like all humans, you feel safer with certainty—and your brain is wired to cling to what feels familiar. Old coping strategies can feel safe, even if they no longer serve you. Eating to soothe emotions might calm you in the moment. People-pleasing may help you avoid conflict. Comfort zones can feel cozy, but they also keep you from thriving. For bariatric patients, there’s an added layer of fear: What if I can’t live without my comfort foods? What if I regain? These worries are normal. Resistance and fear are not proof you can’t change—they’re proof you’re human. Change is possible. Thankfully, difficult feelings pass. The urge to eat or the fear of change rises like a wave, peaks, and then subsides. If you can ride the wave instead of jumping off at the first discomfort, you’ll find the strength to keep going. How to Stay Motivated When Change Feels Hard When the process feels unbearable—and it will at times—you need strategies and tools to help you stay grounded. In those moments, you can: Reframe fear. After surgery, fear of regain can either paralyze you or motivate you. See it as a signal to strengthen your support and prepare—not a reason to quit. Seek support. Stress and support must stay in balance. As challenges rise, lean on your community: support groups, trusted friends, or coaching. You don’t have to do this alone. Choose consistency over intensity. You don’t need to let go of everything at once. Small, steady steps matter more than dramatic efforts. Create rituals for release. Write down an old belief—like “I always fail at this”—and tear it up. Embodied actions can deepen change. And when you stumble, remember: You haven’t failed. You’re learning. Imperfection isn’t your personal flaw—it’s what it means to be human. The Freedom, Clarity, and Possibility That Come From Letting Go When you release what no longer serves you, you create space for what will. Freedom. Without the burden of perfectionism or guilt, you conserve energy for your true priorities. Clarity. Letting go of diet rules and shame makes room to listen to your body’s real needs. Possibility. With a clear mind, you can focus on self-care practices—self-awareness, self-compassion, joyful movement, and meaningful support. Trusting the Process: Lessons From the Fall Season The fall season invites us to see release as a natural and necessary part of life. The trees don’t resist—they let their leaves fall, trusting that new growth will come. For you, letting go may mean releasing self-judgment, self-neglect, shame, perfectionism, isolation, or even the habit of eating to repress unwanted emotions. It may also mean loosening beliefs that keep you stuck. When you let go, you create space for growth. And in that space, new life always emerges. What is one “leaf” you’re ready to let go of this fall?